


deep breath

by wand3ringr0s3



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort fic, F/M, Fred Weasley Lives, PTSD, Panic Attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:07:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27022498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wand3ringr0s3/pseuds/wand3ringr0s3
Summary: Fred Weasley survived the battle but what happens now?
Relationships: Fred Weasley & Reader, Fred Weasley/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 91





	deep breath

One thing they don’t tell you about escaping death is what happens to you after it. The stares. The pitiful looks. The nightmares. Your entire existence changes. It rocked Fred’s whole world. Back before the war no one cared what he did. He was Fred Weasley. The devilishly handsome prankster and rich store owner. He loved pranks and jokes. He made a living off of it. But now? It feels like he has a million pairs of eyes on him. Word about his near death experience spread quickly. One of the golden trio’s siblings and entrepreneur almost died fighting for Hogwarts. He was painted as a hero but he hated it. 

People would come into the shop and want to find him to talk about his “death”. He didn’t even die yet people were looking at him as if he would fade away any moment. Talking about him if he was just some. some figure. His family was the worst about it. He loved them all to death but a single cough, or even a bloody headache and they would rush to his side. The pitiful looks made him sick. He didn’t want to be the man who almost died. He wanted to be Fred Weasley. But how could he be Fred Weasley when he just felt so. Lost. The nightmares kept him awake at night so he would wake up with bags under his eyes. His tired smile was a far cry from the charming one he used to have. He was just a shell of the man he was before the war.

Even his own bloody products weren’t the same.

He couldn’t handle sudden loud noises anymore. He works in a place that he created, that thrives on joke products. Some of them that burst open or explode. Even his fireworks. Every single time he heard a noise like that. It set off something inside of him. His heart would start to race. His palms would become clammy and it felt like he couldn’t breathe.

It was like he was trapped in the place he once called home. He needed an out. He needed to find a place where he wasn’t Fred Weasley, than man who survived death. Or Fred Weasley, our brother who could have died. He just wanted to be, wanted to feel like Fred Weasley again. So he packed his bags and fled to the states. As much as it hurt him he told his family as little as possible. Telling them he would be gone for the summer. That it was just a vacation. Nothing about the way it felt like he was imploding on himself every time one of them gave him a sad look. Nothing about how he had to take a break when a kid set off a decoy detonator in his shop. 

With a quick goodbye he was gone.

So now he’s sitting in a chair at a beach side café in a small city in California. It was remote enough that it was unlikely he’d run into any wizards or witches who knew his name but it was still a small town with its own kind of people. He enjoyed the beach, it was warm and sunny and the sound of the ocean lulled him to sleep every night. He brought enough money to rent him a small room in a motel and to have left over money for food and other goods. Maybe he’d bring back his mum some sea shells or something. 

“You sure you don’t wanna try an iced tea?” His eyes snap to the waitress standing in front of him, you. A small smile on his face as he sips his lemonade. 

“Told you darling, too sweet for my taste.” You set down his bill and smile. 

“Right, you brits and your tea.” He chuckles as he pays his bill. “Same time tomorrow?” You quip as he stands up, stretching his arms out as he lets out a yawn. 

“Of course, maybe I’ll stop by later for that delicious pie you make.” With a wink Fred strolls off, hands in his pockets as he hums a tune you’ve never heard before.

You’ve lived in this town for years. You knew all the locals. All their routines and their coffee orders. Tourists would rarely leave an impact on you. Maybe a few kind words and some good stories but they were up and gone in a week. Until one ginger haired brit walked into the café for the first time. He was handsome and charming, you couldn’t deny that but he also seemed lost. Looking at the menu with confusion you offered to get him just a simple drink. A lemonade with half sweetness. He gladly accepted your help and a few weeks later he came by at the same time and ordered a lemonade with half sweetness. 

They days were slow so you spent time people watching but no one caught your eye quite like Fred Weasley. While most tourists would race to the beach or to the little shops. They stuck out like a sore thumb. But Fred. He took his time. You only ever saw him watching the sunrise on the beach. He would spend a lot of time in his motel and then come to the café for a lemonade. Unlike most, he just looked lost. His smile made you melt but behind it was something you just couldn’t explain. But you wanted to know. A few hours past and you hear the jingling of the door. 

“Hi how can I help you?” You turn to see Fred standing by the display case admiring the pies. Smiling you wipe your hands on your apron and lean on the counter. 

“Hi Fred, What can I get for you?” He taps his chin as he eyes all the delicious looking desserts. “How about I let the pretty girl decide?” He looks at you with a smirk. Rolling your eyes you look around the shop then back at Fred, a playful smirk on your face. 

“Too bad there’s no one else here, guess you’ll have to settle for me.” Fred laughs as he leans against the glass case. 

“So what will it be?” You bat his arm off the glass and look at the pies in the display. “How about a slice of good ole American apple pie. To celebrate the upcoming holiday of course.” Fred looks at you confused as you cut him a piece and put it on a plate. 

“4th of July, its an American thing.” He pulls out his wallet but you shake your head. “It’s on the house.” Taking a fork he leans on the counter instead of going to take a seat. 

You try your best not to stare but you can’t help but watch. When he didn’t see you watching his smile disappeared. When he zoned out his eyes just looked so sad. 

“Enjoying the view?” You quickly realize that despite your best attempts, you had been staring at him for the past 10 minutes. 

“Uh..” 

“Its alright, quite flattering for someone as pretty as you to be looking at me like that.” He flirts. The words rolling off his tongue like smooth butter. Its been a while since Fred’s felt comfortable enough to be his flirty self but with you it was so easy. 

“I just can’t seem to figure you out Fred.” You admit with a smile ok your face. He thinks for a moment. He had been taken by you early into his trip but he was nervous about making connections here when he was due home in 2 months. Not to mention you were a muggle. 

“How about I take you to dinner tomorrow and you can ask anything you like?” He takes his last bite of pie and pushes the plate towards you. Wiping his face with a napkin he drops a few dollars in the tip jar. He turns to leave, smirking at your shocked face. 

“Hey! I haven’t even given you my answer yet.” you call. He turns and shrugs. 

“The answer is written all over your face. See you tomorrow at 7.” The door jingles and slams shut. You’re left feeling stunned and flustered. At least tomorrow was your chance to get to know him.

He was right on time. Waiting for you in a button up and jeans. He sheepishly admits he doesn’t know much about this place still so you take him to your favorite place. A small pizza place with a great view of the ocean. 

“So what did you want to know?” He asks taking a slice of pizza. Wincing slightly at how hot it was. 

“Everything.” 

By the end of the night you learned a lot about him. He had 6 siblings, 5 brothers and 1 sister. One of which was his twin brother named George. He grew up poor but him and his brother opened their own shop. He was known as a class clown back at school. His best friend besides his brother was someone named Lee Jordan and he loved chocolate and jelly beans. 

Though something still felt off. When you pressed more about his school days he was as vague as possible. “Some boarding school. It wasn’t very interesting.” He always turned it back on you. He was charming but you could see he was still hiding something. After dinner you took him to get Ice cream and the two of you sat on a stone wall next to the beach. 

“There was this amazing Ice cream parlor back home.” Fred says as he licks his ice cream cone, trying to get the parts that were melting in his hand. “Me and George used to get the triple chocolate fudge and share. He used to bite his ice cream.” He says shuddering at the very thought. His face suddenly shifts. As if it brought back a horrible memory. 

“Fred?” You place a hand on his and he jumps. You pull your hand back in surprise. “Sorry I just, nevermind.” He says sheepishly. Finishing his ice cream he avoids your worried look. It reminds him of home too much. He seemed dead set on dropping the subject so you move the conversation along. 

“So its your first 4th of July. How about you spend it with me and I’ll show you all the American traditions.” He scrunches up his nose and thinks. 

“What like putting too much sugar in everything?” You roll your eyes and punch his arm lightly. “Seriously, it’ll be fun.” Fred didn’t know much about the 4th of July. 

Its not like they ever taught them at Hogwarts. He looks over at you, such an innocent and happy look. He feels guilty almost. He was falling in love and you didn’t even know the real him. He came to this town to get away from everything not fall in love but his logic disappears as you pout your lips and lean closer to him. Close enough to smell that lovely fresh baked pie smell mixed with the flower perfume you wore. He was a goner. 

“Alright, it better be a good one.”

You told Fred to meet you at 10 am and refused to tell him why. He showed up in a touristy T shirt that was probably from the next store over. 

“Gotta look the part right?” He says showing you his shirt. “Now what did you need me here so early for?” You slide him a plate of waffles with blueberries and strawberries with whipped cream on top. 

“Traditions Freddie, Traditions.” The day went by pretty quickly. Not much to do in the afternoon because night time is when things really kicked off. Stepping onto the beach with a picnic basket he sniffs the air. The smell of barbeque fills his nose. 

“4th of July means its barbeque for dinner.” You pull out wrapped hamburgers and hot dogs from your basket. Sitting on the blanket you brought the two of you watch as kids run around and play in the sand. As the sky grew darker you grew more excited. Kids held sparklers in their hands and people wore glowsticks around their necks. Fred looked around nervously at the sparklers. Frowning you take his hand again. This time he holds it back. 

“Is there too many people? We can move to a better spot if you like.” You offer, not sure what was making him so uncomfortable. 

“No its alright love.” He gives you a reassuring smile. You bite your lip and debate on pushing the subject further but decide against it. The glow of the lanterns and glow sticks filled the beach as the sun goes down. Fred watches as you look around the beach. The glow painting you in such an intimate light. Even though there were hundreds of people on that beach it only felt like the two of you were there. It was perfect. 

Until it wasn’t. 

His mind goes blank at the first firework. His heart pounds by the second. His throat goes dry at the third and by the fifth he’s on his feet. Running as fast as he can with you chasing after him.

You were so excited to show Fred the fireworks. He mentioned briefly about them being him and his twins favorite thing. You thought that showing him these would cheer him up but it did the exact opposite. You ran after Fred as he stumbled through the crowd. No matter how loudly you called his name he kept running. He ran and ran until he couldn’t anymore. The pure shot of adrenaline was draining fast and the panic was setting in. He ducks behind a building and collapses onto the ground. Digging his hands in his hair he tries to remember the breathing techniques that had become so familiar to him these past months. 

He just couldn’t think. 

He couldn’t breathe. 

Flashes of the spells that looked so much like those sparklers those kids held and the fireworks that sound so much like the explosion that almost killed him. You skid to a halt as you find Fred huddled in a ball, almost ripping his own hair out as he chokes on his own tears.

“Fred!” You kneels down next him. Wanting to pull him into a hug but hesitate, not knowing how he would react. “Fred?” You sat softer this time and he hears you. He looks up at you, tears pouring down his face as he rakes his nails through his scalp. 

“Can I touch you?” You ask carefully. He nods and you rest a hand on his back. Your other hand coming to grab one of his hands. 

“Breathe Fred, can you do that for me? In and out, slowly” You whisper in his ear calmingly. Your own heart was racing with fear but you don’t let it show as you focus on calming Fred down. He squeezes his eyes shut as he focuses on your words. 

“K-Keep ta-alking plea-please.” He stutters out. You nod and start whispering words of encouragement to him. Rubbing his back in big circles as you felt his breathing start to slow down. All Fred wanted was to escape the horrors of the war but it became very clear to him that no matter how far he ran, it would run just as far. 

He grabs your hand tightly, wondering why you were still here. You knew nothing about why he was like this yet you were still here, doing everything in your power to make sure he was okay. After what felt like hours his mind began to clear and his breathing was normal. Though the pure feeling of panic sits in the back of his mind. Looking up at you, he feels it all over again. You looked so worried, so lost on how to help him but you helped him anyway. You’ve helped him in more ways than you’ll ever know. 

“Can I-I kiss-s you?” Your eyes widen. In any other situation you would have said yes but he was scared and vulnerable right now and you refused to take advantage of that. 

“Fred you just had a panic attack and you aren’t thinking straight-“ 

“Please..” He begs. “Lets get you to your room and then we can talk okay?” He’d rather kiss you now but being inside his room sounded good. It was more private than the alleyway behind an antique shop. He stumbles getting up but you’re right there to help him. The walk to the motel was short and you were able to get him inside without any trouble. Setting him down on his bed you sit next to him. The sound of outside muffled through the walls. 

“I still want to kiss you.” He mumbles. 

“Fred,-“ 

“You don’t understand, Ever since I showed up here you’ve been nothing but kind. You’ve helped me in more ways than you could imagine darling.” He rambles on, grasping your hands tightly as he speaks. He needs to spill everything to you. He has to. It doesn’t feel right to lock it all away from you anymore. 

“I need to tell you, everything.”

By the end of the night you were holding onto Fred as he cried into your arms. It broke, no shattered your heart to hear about all the awful things he’s been through. At first you didn’t believe him when he told you he was a wizard. Thinking it was a hallucination from his recent panic attack but then he pulled out a wooden stick and made a hyena prance around the room. He spilled everything to you. He told you about Hogwarts, about his magical joke shop and his family who were all wizards and witches. Then he told you about the war. How his family was so involved in it since they were kids. His sister being taken over by Voldemort. His father almost dying at the hands of a snake. His brother being poisoned. His childhood home being burned to the ground right in front of his eyes. 

Then the battle. 

His voice shaky and his eyes were filled with. fear. As if he was reliving it all as he told you. You promised him he didn’t have to tell you everything but he insisted. He needs to. He had been bottling it up for years. The experience of almost dying was the hardest thing to hear. The worst part was how he apologized for running at the sound of fireworks. Like it was fault they caused such a panic in him. You felt nothing but heart break and love for this man the longer he talked. Honestly, it was hard to believe he was a wizard but the things he described. The way he described them. You couldn’t doubt it. Not when they seemed to have broken him so much. He was only 21 years old and all this happened to him. 

It made you sick. 

You needed to process it all but you believed him. Fred had never felt more relieved in his life. Despite the fact he was sobbing into your chest. It was like a weight was lifted off his shoulders as he finally let go of everything. Expressing all his pain. It felt good. Soon his breathing slowed and he lifted his head out of your arms. 

“Sorry for dumping all that on you.” He wipes his eyes and lets out a sad laugh. “It’s okay Fred. I can’t believe you’ve been keeping all this inside.” You stroke his face lightly. When you first saw him you thought he was a cocky stranger but seeing him so vulnerable. This feeling of love crashed over you. All you want is to take his pain away. 

“Eh, one of my many talents.” He jokes awkwardly. “I think you should sleep Fred.” He looks hesitantly at his pillow. He was tired but sleeping often lead to nightmares. 

“Will you stay with me?” He asks quietly. “Of course I will and tomorrow you can tell me anything or we can just lay in silence. I’m here for you Fred.” His heart swells at the sincerity of your words. 

He’s been longing for a sense of belonging. His old home feeling like a prison but with you, he felt that feeling of home. That raw, pure feeling of belonging. Bringing his hands to your face he smashes his lips on to yours. Pushing you in to the bed he climbs over you as he deepens the kiss. You let out a squeak of surprise but find yourself melting into his lips. He moves with desperation, wanting to hold onto that feeling for as long as he can. 

“I’ve been searching for that old part of me for so long,” Fred mumbles pulling away from you. “but with you, its like I’m my old self again. And I can’t ever explain just how much that means to me darling.” You wipe the tears that are forming in your eyes as Fred wraps his arms around your waist. His body falling to the side as sleep overtakes his body, his eyes fighting to stay awake. You run your hands through his hair until he gives into sleep. 

“Sleep my love, and i’ll keep the nightmares away.”

Fred had to go back home and you knew that. You had been preparing for the day he left and never came back but you didn’t prepare for his offer of taking you home with him. Uprooting your life and moving to London was such a big change but Fred promised you a place to live and even a job if you wanted. Deep in your heart you knew you were going to say yes. You weren’t going to let someone like Fred slip through your fingers.

“Are you sure they’re going to like me?” You tap the pie tin in your hands nervously. After returning to London Fred’s mother had invited him for dinner immediately and you as well. You had only met George and you guess he tipped his mom off about you. 

“They’re going to love you. Not as much as I do but a close enough.” Fred was fixing his clothes as you nervously waited. You made apple pie to bring but now you were regretting agreeing to go. 

“But I’m just a muggle.” That word feeling weird in your mouth. He stops fixing his hair walks over to you. “You aren’t just a muggle. You’re the girl of my dreams and the love of my life. Also you make a fantastic pie.” He moves to get a taste of the pie but you move in time. 

“Oi, Mum’s expecting us 5 minutes ago. Lets go!” George calls. Fred rolls his eyes and mimics his brother as he walls downstairs. 

“Do you have the thing?” You whisper to George as Fred’s distracted. He nods and gives you thumbs up. Fred, oblivious to the previous conversation, holds out his arm for you. With a stomach twisting feeling you land outside of the burrow. Several red heads greet the three of you as everyone rushes to talk to Fred and you. 

“I exist too you know.” George teases as he makes his way over to the rest of his family. 

“Its wonder to meet you all, Fred’s told me wonderful things.” You say to the crowd of people staring at you. “All good things.” you quickly add making a few people. 

The night carries on with laughter and amazing food. Mrs. Weasley pulls you to the side as you get water from the kitchen. To your surprise she pulls you into the biggest hug. 

“Thank you,” she whispers in your ear. “You’ve given me my son back.” You hug her back just as tight. Fred’s loud rings in the distance as she grips you tighter. 

“Come on! Its a surprise!” Dragging Fred out to the yard. The rest of the Weasleys await anxiously for the surprise George had promised. George, now at the center of attention, pulls out a box of what can be recognized as fireworks. Fred stiffens until George explains what they are. 

“I’ve been developing these for a while with the help of the best new employee,” he points towards you and Fred looks at you confused. “We made these for certain people,” his eyes flick to Fred for a brief moment. “Weasley Wizard Wheezes now proudly sells no noise fireworks! and you all get the first showing.”

With a wave of his wand the rockets shoot up into the air. Bursting with bright amazing colors but no loud boom. You look at Fred, anxious to see his reaction. His eyes are glossed over as he stares in amazement. At first you’re worried that they were tears of sadness but he looks at you with a big smile and your fears fade. 

“You guys did this?” He asks in disbelief. You nod and squeeze his hand. He wraps you in tight hug. “Thank you.” You kiss his cheek as you both turn your attention back to the firework display. 

George walks over to the two of you. He looks at Fred. The two of them seem to be sharing a wordless conversation. George smiles at you then his brother. Slapping Fred on the back George slings his arm around his neck. 

“Welcome home Fred.”


End file.
